After a cold rainy March followed by warm sunny days in April, everything seems to be bursting into bloom all at once.
When I was growing up in Pennsylvania, spring was more leisurely with dancing daffodils holding their own beneath pink dogwoods on the slope by our house. But near Boston, the progression usually starts more slowly with just the neon yellow of Forsythias. Not this year. Let’s hope all this glory lasts for a while.
It was mid-April when we joined via Zoom for virtual forest-bathing. It would begin to get dark by the end of the session, so I decided to stay close to home and wander in my Japanese-style garden. After paying attention to all of our senses outdoors we went off to walk on our own with a suggestion that we pay attention to color.
I decided to look for the new Japanese maple leaves. I noticed even tiny buds could be both pink and green. Not only were the new leaves quite colorful, but the way they unfolded, swelled and stretched out or hung limply was most worthy of closeup inspection. I added a few photos taken in prior years to include a wider range of these tiny new leaves’ fragile-tough grace.
I was lucky to locate a lovely unfinished pine grid screen that would be perfect for displaying art and flowers in my pine garden shed tea hut. That screen along with the maple board under it serve as an acceptable alternative to the more typical tokonoma alcove. The board with its lovely grain is also special as it was a gift from my sister.
The second photo below shows an enlarged section of the lake scene on the scroll seen in the first photo. Among the less typical display examples are a fan, an enlargement of a small section of jasper, and a photo of a garden recreation of a falling apart well where my siblings and I played as children.
I once facilitated a tea and dialogue session for members of a caregivers’ support group that met monthly in my local senior center. Most of them were caring for ailing spouses. It was hard for them to take much time out for themselves, let alone take actual vacations. The social worker facilitating the group agreed that “mini-vacation” would be a good dialogue topic.
From the warm, open way they welcomed me, I suspected they already followed the dialogue guidelines – Pause, Relax, Open, Attune to Emergence, Listen Deeply and Speak the Truth. The facilitator agreed, adding that she encouraged them to speak truthfully about their suffering.
The mini-vacations they shared took place in campgrounds, on the beach and other places they remembered from actual vacations. They spoke about peace and joy and freedom to play. What they described seemed more about being and sharing than doing. It was the very simplicity that made their descriptions so moving – the basic warm human connection.
Dan Siegel, an innovator in the integration of brain science and psychotherapy notes, “Self-compassion and self-acceptance emerge quite seemlessly…from consistent, continuous and caring connections with our caregivers early in life. But they can also emerge from ‘earned secure attachement'” (page 188, Mindsight; The new science of personal transformation). He continues on page 188 explaining that with the opportunity “to feel that we are ‘inside the heart’ of another, the candlelight of love glows within and illuminates our lives.”
These caregivers were taking full advantage of the opportunity to be truly seen and held in that candlelight’s glow. It seemed to me that what they were describing could be appreciated by anyone – the warm sense of belonging with no agenda in a lovely natural spot. There was a peace to what they described but, given their circumstances, it was also quite poignant.
I got the feeling that secure attachment regardless of how it is achieved – whether through early life experience, or though courageous work – might benefit from regular tuneups. And sharing memories or visions of ideal “mini-vacations” seemed not such a bad way to do that kind of maintenance.
Although many think of tourmaline as individual crystals in pink, green or in the famous water melon tourmaline – a combination of those two, it can often be found embedded in quartz, or in a matrix with other minerals.
The photos below show a variety of examples including a striking cluster with pinkish-lavender lapidolite (and a closer in view of this one), as well as a number with tourmaline crystals embedded in quartz.
Examples may be found from sources around the world, and some of them, especially those with larger crystals, can make remarkably beautiful display specimens. Most of those shown in the photos below are on the smaller side. A prior blog post discussed tourmaline’s remarkable color range.
We crave the approval of attentive listening and what others have to say when they are revealing their true hearts tends to be inherently interesting. That kind of conversation can have both freshness and depth.
Ideally, we consider before speaking, and then we speak the truth in a way that benefits both speaker and listener. In today’s world of increasing divisiveness, we can easily underestimate how much we have in common and how much we have to gain from listening.
Heartfelt speech is always an exchange of gifts even when the conversation is strictly internal. Pausing for self-compassion when one is triggered by something that is said (including by oneself) allows time to process and release emotions and then return to listening.
When we know we are valued and respected despite our flaws, honest discussion can help us begin to work on what might be getting in our way. While seeing the impact of past conditioning can be painful and take time, changing our perspective and actions is much easier with trusted support.
With enough supportive honest sharing in our lives, we might discover that we ourselves, are the answer to the hole we are seeking to fill. Clark, Fleche, Layard, Powdthavee & Ward, in The Origins of happiness: Evidence and policy implications, VOX DEPR’s Policy Portal, share the results of large surveys they conducted in a number of countries which found that the biggest factors in life satisfaction were not economic but related to “people’s social relationships and their mental and physical health.”
Rocks have long been appreciated in Japan. They appear in gardens and are displayed like sculptures inside as well. They often seem to have a life of their own, even when they are not covered in moss or lichens, and are especially apprecated when they show the effects of weathering. 
In these times of dramatic change, that rocks will outlast us – their seeming permanence, has a special appeal. Our human lives are brief. While I know whole continents are moving and splitting apart, to me the larger rocks can feel like ancient timeless guardians and I try to listen when they speak to me.
Pinecones were everywhere.
According to Menotomy Rocks Park, A Centennial History by Don Mattheisen, White Pines were planted after a devastating gypsy and brown moth invasion in 1902. It was hoped that the needles would not interest these hungry pests. In any case, no such massive invasion of destructive moths recurred then or now.
As to the unusual abundance of pinecones, recent high winds might have played a role in bringing them down, but could not explain why there were so many on the trees in the first place. Perhaps the White Pines planted in the 1900’s were approaching the end of their natural lives and providing for the perpetuation of their species. Or newly abundant rains the last few years had created favorable conditions for baby trees. Squirrels seem to be going after the seeds already. 
There are places in the Park where many young evergreens all seem to be about the same height. I will keep an eye out for more patches of young trees springing up, especially where sunlight reaches the forest floor.
Tea bowls and blackberries awaiting the arrival of a friend.
Although it might seem frivolous, I would argue that slowing down to share tea with no particular agenda is a very good idea. For one thing, as Olendzky notes, “security comes from aligning our attitudes and policies with the behaviors that will bring out the best in others, rather than doing the very things that are sure to provoke or entrench them” (Unlimiting Mind: The Radical Experiential Psychology of Buddhism, page 45). 
Human lives have always been full of challenges. And these days there are good reasons to be afraid. With so much coming at us, it is all too easy to pull back into our shells and feel helpless. 
Sharing tea provides a good excuse to slow down and simply be present with each other. Thich Nhat Hanh includes drinking tea among his practices for compassionate communication to “Bring you back to your true home. Don’t think. Be here, body and mind united.” (The Art of Communicating, 2013, page 150).
As you feel the warm cup, the steam rising, attune to the color and the fragrance of the tea, you are returning to sensing what is here now in real time. With senses more fully engaged, it may be easier to directly sense the not-being-alone-with-this support of simply enjoying tea together.
Humans can certainly cause big trouble. But it is also natural for us to help each other out in times of crisis. While emotional support and practical forms of help are both wonderful, there is also a place for small acts of kindness, like sharing tea. They can add so much grace and meaning to human lives.
There is something about rivers and their many moods. Perhaps it has to do how the weather affects everything or how they flow. Some, as in this case, seem to breathe with the tides inviting me to slow down and pay attention.
The photos below were taken over a number of years when I visited an Inn that was right on the Kennebunk River, In Maine, USA. Once I saw a seal stick its head out. Ducks often gathered in the early morning. Mostly I just let go into all that was before me, allowing all that radiance to seep in.
Radiant Refuge 