With humans it is almost always safe to assume we are both/and. For example, we are without question an aggressive species, but we can also be quite caring. We are destructive and creative. We are both selfish and generous. And the “self” can be one person, or perhaps something much larger.
I have seen a video of a tribe whose individuals identify first as a “we,” not “I”, and then there is the African notion of “ubuntu”: “I am because we are”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubuntu_philosophy.
The U. S. has quite an individualistic culture – the goal is to provide conditions where individuals can thrive by using their own talents and following their own lights. Other cultures place the welfare of the group above that of the individual, sacrificing some individual freedom for what is considered the common good. That approach would seem to require general agreement about what supporting the common good requires of individuals supported by a bunch of rules – you tend to be reminded by your neighbor if you step out of line.
From the Buddhist point of view, “selfing” is delusional given all things are a transient result of causes and conditions, although referring to “I” and “me” makes relative sense as a practical matter when engaging with others.
Even from a purely scientific perspective, there is much evidence that we are part of a system of mutually influencing causes and conditions. We also seem to have limited agency to instigate change for better or worse without ever knowing all the impacts of our actions. That we have agency at all seems amazing. It could also be taken as a big responsibility.
As we seem to be part of a large system of mutually influencing factors and not separate from it, that raises the interesting question of whether we might choose to identify with the larger dynamic system of which we are a part and not just our transient limited body-mind.
A mindfulness researcher went to Africa to find the tribe from which it is speculated that all humans originated. One of that group said, “I am happy because I belong. Don’t you belong?”
Tea ceremony practice gave me a particularly vivid experience of non separation from all that is. I am not alone in having experienced that mystical vision. It seems possible by taking psychedelics and through various forms of mindfulness practice but it is far from universal and it is an experience, not a thought or idea.
No matter how we do it, my hope is that folks can enlarge their understanding of who their tribe is. I have heard it said that certain leaders feel they are in a tribe of one where nothing and noone else matters.
